If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say...

I haven’t written a blog entry for awhile. For one, I’ve been pretty busy. And two, not much that is blog worthy has happened or come to mind...even for a blog called “A Whole Lot of Nothing.”

However, there’s something that has bugged me for awhile and what better way to address that issue than through my blog. I mean, I must have an audience of about two who will read this and see my viewpoint. And I’ll feel better getting it off my chest.

Social media has become part of our lives. We are always connected to people or news with our computers, tablets, or phones. While this has its benefits, I have also seen how it can bring the worst out in people.

If you read my Facebook posts or have seen my other blog entries, you know I like to write with some humor (at least I try). I’m all for a good joke or sarcasm. I don’t even mind making fun of myself. Yet what I find as I read through news stories, Facebook posts, or well-intended human interest stories, is that we’re living in a cruel, judgmental world. People take this forum to “speak” and go for it. Thoughtless, hurtful comments and all.

While I recognize people have the freedom to give their thoughts, I’m not trying to mess with the first amendment, I do feel people might want to think before they hit post. Why do people feel that it is acceptable to be so unkind? Does the “anonymity” of writing the words rather than saying them directly to the person make it seem more okay? Do people think the written word hurts less than the spoken word? Do they even care?

I’m always amazed at how people can take a story and turn it into something ugly. If a news station posts a story about a deadly car accident, before the details are even released, people are blaming the driver for drinking or texting and commenting that they got what they deserved. Then other people will comment that they should wait for details before judging the situation. Then they go back and forth with hateful words at each other. Meanwhile, a family has lost a loved one, but that takes a backseat to people being thoughtless.

Other times a media outlet might share a light-hearted story that is meant to be for entertainment purposes. Yet people find it necessary to make rude comments or criticize the author. Sometimes simple stories become political issues with lots of nasty remarks. People are also very quick to remark on someone’s looks or what they’re wearing. People can be downright mean.

While I’m not naive enough to think that these behaviors are going to change, I do wish people would stop and think before they write something. There just seems to be an abundance of insensitive people out there.  If the article is not of interest, just scroll on by. Resist the urge to pass judgment on someone or something when details are not known. If it’s going to he hurtful, don’t write it. Can’t we all just get along?

Simply put, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

The F-Word

Failure. I hate failing. And while I realize that no one particularly enjoys failing, others can take it more in stride. Yet for someone like me who is competitive, has a slight Type A personality, and has a desire to succeed, failing a task is bothersome. In this case, my attempt at achieving a goal is not going to happen.

In a post I wrote in June, I shared that I was going to run a marathon. Well, I’ve reconsidered my decision and I’ll just be doing the half marathon. Now I know I shouldn’t say “just a half marathon” because 13.1 miles is still good, but it’s something I’ve already done, so I’m not pushing myself to the next level. However, I didn’t feel the full 26.2 miles was going to work at this time.

The biggest factor in my decision was the time and commitment needed to train properly. All summer I tried to follow the schedule for completing my weekly miles and getting that long run in on the weekend. As summer progressed, we got busier and went away a number of weekends. That meant my long run would often occur on a Thursday or whenever I could get it in. What also added to the challenge is Jason’s schedule. He works nights, so on a work night he leaves after dinner, doesn’t get home until around 8:00 the next morning, and then sleeps during the day. With the kids here, I couldn’t leave for my runs before he got home, and it’s hard to be gone for hours while he’s asleep. Now that school has started for me again, that just adds another level of being limited on time. I don’t have time to run before school, so I have to run after. When I get home at 5:00, I like to see Jason before he goes to work. It’s also hard to put in a lot of miles after a long day of work. Plus Abby has activities after school and homework to complete. With the day to day chores such as showers, dinner, my school work, etc., doing 10 miles beginning at 5:30 p.m. is hard. Abby also has games on Saturday and Sunday mornings, so once again I’m struggling to find time to run for hours on the weekend.

I also don’t have a running partner in which to train. No one wanted to or was able to do the marathon, so I was doing these long runs alone. It’s hard to stay motivated mile after mile when I’m running solo. It’s helpful to have someone to talk to and who can keep me moving forward. When I’m alone for that much time, I have too much time to think. And I’m usually thinking about how much I don’t want to go any further and that it’s really not that fun. I think about how my knee kind of hurts and that my legs are tight. My brain is usually my worst enemy...it thinks too much.

Speaking of my body hurting...running long distances does hurt. On the day that I ran 15 miles, my legs were killing me. My thighs were so tight and every step hurt. I felt like I was in slow motion much of the time. When I was done, I couldn’t begin to imagine that I’d still need to run another 11 miles for the marathon. That was the day I really started to question if I could do it. For those of you who run, you know that some days are better than others. Some days you feel like you have a good stride and you’re light on your feet, and other days it’s like running with a bag of bricks tied to your feet. I hoped that maybe this was just a bad day and the next week’s long run would be better.

The next week came and I had to do my long run on Friday because we were heading for Pittsburgh the next morning. Jason had worked the night before so he went to sleep in the morning when he got home. Abby was at camp, but Griffin was home. I couldn’t run for 3 hours or so and leave him alone. Therefore, I couldn’t start my 16 mile run until Jason woke up. Needless to say, when I headed out at 1:00 p.m. on a hot, sunny, summer afternoon, the conditions were not ideal for running. Those long runs are much better to get out of the way in the early morning hours when the mid-day heat is not beating down. Well, after a few miles, I found myself running back towards my house. As I ran, I began to come to the realization that this marathon might not happen. I didn’t want to give up on my goal, but I wasn’t feeling a strong enough desire at that point to keep going.

It would have been hard, but physically I’m sure I could have completed the 16 miles that day. Yet since I was not willing to try harder in my efforts, I kind of knew that my mind was telling me to reconsider. I did give it a week or so to be sure, but anytime I told myself I wasn’t going to run it, I had a sense of relief. The training had become like a second job. The training schedule was always on my mind and I was always trying to plan my weeks around it. Instead of enjoying it, it began to feel more like a burden. For some time now I’ve been in some kind of training mode. Whether it’s a 10K or a 10 mile race, I’m always forced to be on some schedule so that I am ready for race day. The marathon plan is the most intense one I’ve done so far and I’m actually glad it’s off my plate. Yes, I still will train for the half marathon, but that’s manageable. If I were still marathon training, today would have been my 18 mile day. Instead it was only a 9 mile day. Much less stressful. After this race, I think I’m going to focus on running as just exercise for awhile. I think I need a break from races. It’s been more work than enjoyment lately, so I need to just go out and not worry about my distance or my time. It’ll be purely for exercise and stress relief.

So while failing is not something I enjoy, I am really okay with not being able to do my full marathon by my 40th birthday. I have enough stressful things to deal with on a daily basis, so if not doing this helps to alleviate some of the stress in my already busy schedule, then that’s good for my family and me. And I want running to become another f-word again...fun.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

As the end of July closes in on us, I start to feel that depressed, panic mode. I know that August is lurking all too closely and that means one thing-- school will be starting just around the corner. When school ends in June, it always feels like a weight has been lifted and I gain a sense of freedom that I don’t have during the other ten months of the year. Then it seems that the summer goes in fast forward, while the other seasons move a bit more slowly.

First, let me acknowledge all of you who aren’t teachers. I realize that you’re probably not feeling too bad for me as I wrap up my two month vacation. What other job allows this extended summer break? Well, let’s just say that teachers condense their twelve months of work into ten, so the break is much needed and very much earned.

I used to teach summer school, but I didn’t feel refreshed when the actual school year began. Now I try to enjoy the summer and not think about school. Yet, as this time of the summer approaches, I can’t help but think about going back. Of course, Staples is no help as they remind me by playing their “most wonderful time of year” commercial and all the flyers for back to school items that come in the mail. I start thinking about my caseload, making my schedule, and planning for what I’ll be doing with them. Also, my classroom is being moved once again, so I’ll need to unpack everything and set up a room one more time. Then the thoughts of all the paperwork, meetings, politics of schools, etc., begin to saturate my brain and I begin to feel overwhelmed and long for the summer to be endless.

Since being in elementary school, I’ve wanted to be a teacher. Yet, there are some days that I contemplate what else I would do if I wasn’t teaching. I wonder what it’s like to work in “the real world.” Is the grass greener? If the truth be known, I’d prefer not to work at all, but that’s not going to happen. If I had a choice of another job, I’d want to be a published author. In addition to liking to write, there’s something appealing about having my own quiet writing studio or writing in a quiet coffee shop. There I’d be able to write, drink coffee, and people watch. Then as my books became best sellers, I’d go on book tours across the country. I’d sign autographs and take pictures with my adoring fans. Then my books would be turned into Hollywood movies. Not that I’ve been dreaming about this at all.

But, until that dream happens, I’ll try to enjoy the last few days of July and the better part of August before my carefree, summer days come to an end. I’m feeling a little weepy already.

Pretending that money and schooling were not in the equation, what would your dream job be?

A Picture is Worth a 1000 Words

In my last post I shared my minor obsession with being connected by technology. Whether it’s by text, e-mail, or social media, I like communicating with people or being able to read about the news going on in the world around me. For social media I mainly use Facebook. It’s been fun connecting with people I haven’t seen since childhood or high school, but also just with people I see on a regular basis. I go on Pinterest occasionally, but it’s not something I do everyday. Twitter is also one I only view once in awhile. I actually just signed up for Twitter a few months ago so I could see what it was all about since it seemed everyone from politicians to celebrities tweeted. From time to time I’ll scroll through and do a quick read, but I haven’t found the thrill of it. I’ve never actually sent my own tweet. Yet, since so many people use Twitter, I feel like I must be missing something.

My most recent find and latest interest--Instagram. Last fall I signed on to Instagram just to see what it was. I saw you could take pictures and use a few enhancements. No big deal. I basically just ignored that app and really never thought about it again. Well, a couple months ago, the topic of Instagram came up with my friend Lisa. I think I had tried Instagram again and posted the picture on Facebook. Lisa often posts some of her Instagram pics, so she told me a bit about it, and it piqued my interest. I didn’t know there was this little Instagram world going on! It was much more than I realized.

I have actually had an interest in photography for awhile. I’m always amazed by the wonderful pictures some people take. They have just the right angle and colors. A couple of years ago, Jason bought me a “real” camera; however, I never really learned how to use it appropriately. I basically keep it on AUTO rather than use all of the options it has available. Jason suggested I read a photography book or the manual, but I really didn’t have time for that. I also got my iPhone a few years ago and found myself using that camera a lot simply because of the convenience of it. It certainly doesn’t have the same quality or the ability to zoom the same way, but it does the job most of the time.

My forgotten Instagram account was private and I assumed that’s how I’d want it, just as I do with Facebook. After Lisa shared how she uses Instagram, however, I made my account public and started viewing other people’s work and then even attempted some of my own photos. There are forums on Instagram where you can submit your photos and moderators of these sites will choose certain pictures to be featured. Some of these forums are for pictures of flowers, doors, children, or just random images, to name a few. At first I had a lot of questions about how it all worked. I was sending regular texts to Lisa asking questions. At one point I told her she could send me a bill for all of her tutorial time. Lisa has an excellent photo gallery (@lisaeinme) and is also the co-founder of Wicked Good Shots, which is a forum devoted to photos taken of New England.

Once I posted my first couple of pictures and hashtagged them into a particular forum, I started getting likes and comments from people all over the world. And then, when I got my first picture featured, it kind of hooked me. In the last couple months since being part of Instagram, I’ve had multiple pictures selected. So along with the feedback from others and the positive reinforcement from having pictures chosen, it makes me want to keep submitting pictures. Instagram is quite unique in the fact that everyone is so supportive and polite. People write kind comments and send congratulations for a photo well-done or for a picture that has been chosen for a feature.

Like writing, I think I enjoy Instagram because it lets me use the creative side of my brain. While I’m not terribly creative, it is different from my regular job which has me doing paperwork, meeting state and federally regulated deadlines, and doing evaluations and writing reports. No creativity needed there. I think the right side of my brain is a little happier now that it’s getting exercised a little.

I feel like everywhere I go now, I look around me and wonder if something would make a good picture. I certainly don’t have the talent and editing skills that many of the photographers do, but it’s still quite fun. If anything, it’s making me take notice of life around me. I notice sunsets, flowers, and interesting architecture. Rather than rushing through life, I’m actually taking time to smell the roses (and photograph them!).

Visit me on Instagram: @khuchel

My Name is Kim...

They say admitting it is the first step. Well, envision me sitting in a circle, surrounded by others holding cell phones and tablets, madly typing away. It’s my turn to speak. I nervously confess, “My name is Kim and I am a smartphone, technology, social media loving-aholic.”

After reluctantly joining the world of social media almost 5 years ago, I have become, well, a little addicted to it. First it was Facebook, then Pinterest, then Twitter (which I still don’t really see the point of), and most recently Instagram. I don't really think that I am addicted--I could quit if I had to (I think...maybe...I’m not sure). However, it could be worse. I’ve seen some people on TLC’s show My Strange Addiction and those people eat ashes from their deceased spouse’s urn, toilet paper, or human blood. Some are addicted to inflatable animals, licking their cat, or bathing in urine. See, social media not so bad, huh?

Since writing can be like therapy, let’s delve into my childhood to see where this all stems from. For whatever reason, I loved getting mail as a kid. I couldn’t wait for the mailman (or woman) to arrive at my mailbox. I would rush down the driveway and hope for a letter. Back then, I really did get actual snail mail letters because we didn’t have the technology of today. It would usually be from my grandparents or a pen pal. I had over 100 pen pals and I did my best to keep up with all of them, but at some point I really just focused on my few favorites. And believe it or not, I recently found all those letters that I’ve had stored in boxes in our eaves.

Why did I like getting mail so much? I’m not really sure. It was fun and exciting to hear from people. I liked reading about their lives and I liked writing to them about my life. This really translates to the technology of today. Emails, texts, and Facebook allow me to keep in touch with people. I’m no longer waiting for letters in the mail, but I hear the ding on my phone or the little red flag indicating some type of correspondence and I quickly see who it is. I all too frequently find myself picking up my phone, iPad, or laptop to check and see what is going on in the world around me. Today’s electronic communication also provides that instant gratification I didn’t have when I was waiting for letters to come in the mail. If a letter didn’t come one day, I never had to check the mailbox the rest of the day because mail only comes once a day. Now communication can come 24 hours a day. Is that too much?? Are we overdoing it? Are our brains becoming too saturated with “stuff”? There are times I feel like I have ADHD with my technology. I go from Facebook, to clicking on Pinterest, to clicking on Instagram, to checking my texts, and then e-mails. Why do I do it? I have no idea. Even as I sat here writing this, I paused to read Facebook and then I had to go check the texts that I heard chime in on my phone. It’s distracting and time consuming, yet I keep doing it. It also makes me wonder what will come next in our lives. As a kid while I was handwriting a letter on pretty stationery, I never imagined that one day there would be some other way to write to others. I guess only time will tell what the next 20 years will bring.

And, if you ever feel like writing a letter or sending a card, I still get excited when something other than a bill arrives in my mailbox.