What’s that sound? Nothing. That’s right. I am enjoying (I think) a rare time alone at home.
Jason, being the ever thoughtful husband, decided he’d take the kids on an outing today so I could have some peace and quiet. I’ve been essentially spending every waking minute with the kids and doing the house/yard work because 1) we’re home for summer vacation and 2) Jason’s schedule causes him to be gone at night and sleep during the day much of the time. Now I love summer and am thrilled to be home and I’m glad Jason has a job he loves (except the overnight shift), but it can be a bit wearing at times. The most trying aspect is my dear son, Griffin. He can be sweet, lovable, funny, smart, and he has a smile that makes my heart melt. He’s also been a challenge since he was an infant. One might call him a “spirited child”. Right now everything makes him breakdown, whine, yell, have a fit, argue, repeat himself over and over, and push all the limits. And there is no reasoning with him. He doesn’t even hear because his mind is focused on what he wants/doesn’t want, so our words go unheard. Yes, it’s a bit trying to say the least.
When Jason first posed this day to myself, I kind of felt funny about it. Is it okay as a mother to take the day off? I felt guilty telling the kids that I was going to have a day to myself. Then I thought that I’d miss out on something fun. Then it shifted to worrying about them being safe on the drive and then on the rocks and at the waterfalls. Now Jason is a very responsible parent, but if you read my last post, I alluded to the fact that living in my head is like being in crazytown. It’s always filled with worries and what-ifs. (And for the record, I texted Jason so he could let me know when they arrived. I haven’t heard from him yet, so I’m trying to tell myself that all is well and they’re just having too much fun to send a text.) In the end, however, I decided to take Jason up on this offer and let them go on their own.
So, what am I doing with my day off? Well, I’m not sure. Obviously writing right now. They didn’t leave until about 10:30, so most of the morning had gone by and I had already taken my run and walked the dog. In the almost three hours they’ve been gone, I’ve taken a shower, had lunch, walked to Dunkin Donuts to get coffee, and browsed online for new running sneakers. I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about what I should be doing with this time. Cleaning? Writing? Reading? Pedicure? Nap? Beach? I think having a day to myself is a lot of pressure. I want to make the most of it, but don’t know exactly what to do. Crazy, huh?? Yep...I warned you.
Well, I’m going to try and enjoy my stress-free day and actually do something rather than just think about what I can do. I don’t want to waste another minute because these days are few and far between!!